The Internet Isn’t Real Life

So many women get excited about the flying dress photoshoots that are all the rage these days. Don't get me wrong--they are super cool, and the photos I see of women all over the world are amazing and empowering.

But I have been hearing way too often lately that women don’t feel like they can travel like I do because they don’t have the right outfits, they don’t look “perfect” when they travel, or they are uncomfortable or awkward in front of a camera.

And that makes me sad.

So here’s my PSA:

Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you aren’t good enough, attractive enough, thin enough, savvy enough, cultured enough, rich enough, or ______ (fill in the blank with whatever adjective you’re thinking you’re not enough of) to travel.

It’s not fucking true.

I’m sure you already know this, but most of what you see on social media and often in the photos and videos of travel influencers is a distorted version of reality. And unfortunately, it sometimes has a negative impact on women (and yes, men too), making us feel like travel is out of reach for us if we don't look like the travel influencers we see on Instagram.

Trust me, it gets me too sometimes because I know I don't fit the mold.

But I also don't want to.

Like most people, I have all kinds of things I don’t like about my appearance. I am not stereotypically thin, and I battle with thyroid disease and struggle with constant weight gain. Like many people, I often dislike the way I look in clothing and have days where I just don’t feel great about myself.

And sometimes I absolutely hate having to have my photo taken for my job or while I am traveling because it’s not being taken just for fun or in a true authentic and candid moment, which is how I prefer to live my life.

And I’ll let you in on another little secret: I have a fear of being on camera.

But I try to show up anyway, because it’s pretty damn hard to grow a business like this without a face attached to it.

So I am here to tell you from experience that these "perfect" photos that we see online are often curated, highly edited, and hand-selected out of hundreds of not-so-great shots and then portrayed as the perfect moment, just accidentally captured in a candid shot.

In reality, it often involves pre-planning the location, picking the right outfit for the backdrop, getting up at 4 am to avoid crowds, taking hundreds of photos, editing, and doing all kinds of crazy stupid shit to get the “perfect” shot.

Take my example below in this flying dress video in Cappadocia that I posted on Instagram a while back.

While I did get some really cool footage and had an amazing time, I also woke up at 4 am to do hair and makeup, had to hike in the dark through the valley in impractical footwear and carried a 30 pound dress train behind me. It was absolutely freezing. I was uncomfortable and extremely awkward, as I am in no way a model and had to have my photo taken in front of two Turkish men who I’d never met.

And when I got my pics back, most of my photos looked like a variation of this. ⬇️

And as you can see from that video, a 30 pound dress train does not just flow in the wind like Instagram makes us believe. Our photographer had an assistant who's sole purpose was to manhandle the dress train at all times so that it looked perfect. It was fucking heavy. And it took great effort not to show all of Cappadocia my boobs on several occasions because I was braless and there was nothing more than two mere scraps of cloth over my chest.

Don't get me wrong--I have zero regrets about doing this photoshoot. But I only really loved ONE single photo out of hundreds (anyone who knows me knows I say you only need one, and it’s true!). It's one of my favorite photos of me ever, and it's framed in my office.

But more important than getting the perfect photo/video (and for the record, I love the second half of that video way more than the first--it still makes me laugh whenever I watch it), I had the BEST time just having fun, enjoying the experience, and living in the moment. My friend Kari and I ended up spending the entire day with our photographers, feeding each other grapes like total idiots, using Google Translate to talk to the guys because they spoke no English and our Turkish is non-existent, and I crashed a Kurdish wedding with them that evening because I was just embracing the moment.

It ended up honestly being one of the best days of my life, and it had nothing to do with the photos. It was all about the memories.

We don't have to look perfect to travel. It's okay to just show up as you are. Get dolled up if that makes you feel good, but also feel like it's just as acceptable to roll out of bed and wear whatever you feel like wearing. Take photos of yourself or take photos of beautiful scenery. Do both, or live completely in the moment and don't take a single damn photo if you don't want to. It’s your life.

Regardless of how you travel, just make sure what feels right and authentic to you. If you do that, you can't do it wrong.